I Want to Cry
by PangstaAlexXo
Summary: I love you so much, but he loves you too. When he's not with you, you cry... but you're not with me, I can't live. ONESHOT based on the song by Brave Brothers and Park Jaebeom


**Okay, so I'm taking a break! Aha… sorry for all the Prince and I fans but I'm on a temporary brain-freeze and I can't think of how to end it or even continue it… so I wrote this one shot. But I'll still work on my old story! I promise~ It just might take a little while longer… :P my baddd .**

**I'm a HUGE k-pop fan... I'm particularly in love with Park Jaebeom and his song with Brave Brothers, I Want to Cry. It's amaaazing and I love it… loveee it. :) And the music video isn't bad either, but I got bored and thought of my own for it… so this one shot is kinda based on the song? Pretend this is likee a music vid, cause it goes through phases a lot… so it's not really a story? If you want, listen to it while you read!**

**And I know that it'll sound gloomy... but most of their videos are pretty sad...**

**Alright! Read, Enjoy, Comment!**

_There they are… sitting next to each other. Even though you both love one another, I love her too… I love her and I can't live without her. I can survive it if you're in the picture also, but I still have feelings for her… but I'll step aside for you. _

Ruka was standing a few feet away from a couple sitting on a park bench. He had a camera in his hands and was looking at them through the lenses. The girl was brunette and had beautiful brown eyes that complimented her bright smile. The guy she was next to was masculine with his black hair and crimson eyes that were admiring the girl.

Ruka clicked his camera at them a few times and watched them intently. The girl laughed at the guy and he tapped her nose. A light pink crept up her face as she continued to smile at him. He smiled back and leaned in towards her. She did too and pecked him on the lips. The girl glanced to the side and saw Ruka spying on them. She looked at him for a minute and grinned. The girl pointed her finger at him and motioned for him to come to her. "Ruka! Over here!" she yelled.

Ruka pointed to himself with a wondering look.

The girl nodded and the guy noticed that she wasn't paying attention to him. He looked at Ruka also and smiled. The girl rolled her eyes at Ruka's hesitation and patted the spot next to him. "Come on, Ruka! Sit down and stop taking pictures!"

He sat down and slapped hands with the guy. "Hey, Natsume," and then he kissed the girl on the cheek. "I'm here, Mikan."

It made her giggle. She put her arms around both the boy's shoulders and sighed in relief. "Now all my favorite guys are here." They both looked at her and smiled.

Ruka glanced at Natsume and saw him gaze at her. His look was serene and happy… Ruka also noticed her gaze at Natsume. She looked peaceful and glad. Ruka frowned slightly. _They are so in love. _He got up and pointed to a ferris wheel. "We'll start with the pictures there. Let's go, Mikan."

Mikan stood and saluted. "Yes, sir!" She ran ahead of them and Ruka got out his camera. She turned with her beautiful smile and Ruka started shooting. Her hair was shining from the high sun and the wind blew it and her clothes in the perfect way.

Ruka captured every moment until his camera ran out of film. He held the camera lower and called out to Mikan, "Stay there! I have to reload."

He heard her scream a 'hai' and saw her wide smile. Ruka smiled back and looked down at his camera. "Natsume, can you get me some film?"

Natsume walked up beside him and folded his arms. "You love her… don't you?"

Ruka stopped and looked at Natsume. He had a serious expression on him. Ruka widened his eyes and opened his mouth. "How… did you…?"

Natsume chuckled and put a hand on his shoulder. "You're my bro. How could I not notice?"

Ruka stepped back. "I promise I wasn't planning on taking her from you. I love you both too much… and I wouldn't want her to feel uncomfortable with us. Plus, I know how much she loves _you_."

Natsume shook his head. "It's okay. Go for it. Mikan will choose who she truly loves in time."

"Really…? You don't mind?"

"Of course not. I can't control her emotions." He turned around towards the bench and started walking. Natsume paused and looked back at Ruka. "But that doesn't mean you can steal her without a fight." He smirked and jogged away.

Ruka laughed and ruffled up his hair. "I know that…" He turned back to Mikan who was looking at Ruka.

"What's taking so long, you two?" She folded her arms and leaned forward.

Ruka stuck out his tongue at her. "Just hold on! One more minute! I asked Nat—"

"NATSUME!"

Ruka looked up at Mikan who was running towards him. He spun around and saw Natsume on the floor. He widened his eyes and sprinted to him. Ruka reached Natsume and picked him up. There was blood on his chest that surrounded a bullet hole in his shirt. Ruka's hand shook as he put pressure on the wound. "Natsume… Natsume say something, man!"

Mikan caught up and fell by his side. She grabbed one of Natsume's hands and brought it to her cheek. She started to cry and shout his name.

Ruka shook his tears away as he slapped Natsume's face. "Open your eyes. Open them! Stop playing with us… Natsume… Natsume!"

Natsume opened his eyes slightly and looked at the sky. His eyes slowly moved to look at Ruka. His lips quivered as he tried to smile. "Ru…. Ka…."

Ruka brought him up closer with his hand still pressing on his wound. "It's alright… stop… talking… it's going… to be okay… Okay? You can't go… not now…"

Mikan tightened her grip on Natsume's hand and whimpered even louder. "Ruka's right… Natsume, you're fine… You can't… leave me… I love you! I love you too much…!"

Natsume tilted his head a little in a nod. "Yeah… I know… I'm… sorry." He smiled at Mikan and looked at Ruka. Natsume's hand started to move and landed on Ruka's which laid on his wound. "Take care… of her… of… Mikan."

Ruka sat there speechless. Natsume's hand slipped from Mikan's and his eyes slowly closed.

Mikan shook her head and embraced Natsume. "No…! No… No… No, Natsume!"

Ruka stared at Natsume's face and stayed in that position. He couldn't move… the only thing he heard was Mikan's cries.

* * *

They were sitting in a temple, in front of a picture of Natsume. Ruka was beside Mikan, who was gripping onto his shirt. She was in tears, mumbling Natsume's name over and over.

Ruka gritted his teeth and held her. He looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold back the tears but they came out. Ruka shut his eyes tightly and buried his face in Mikan's hair… crying along with her.

* * *

Mikan hasn't smiled since that day. She sat on the same bench as before, looking at her hands.

Ruka was taking pictures of another girl in front of the same ferris wheel. Mikan couldn't model for him anymore, in her state. He glanced back and frowned. Ruka told the girl and his crew to wait as he walked to Mikan.

He bent down in front of her so that she didn't have to lift her head to see him. Ruka tilted his head and smiled at her. "It's okay… you don't have to be here."

Mikan slowly brought her glance up to look at him. She shook her head. "I'm fine…"

Ruka's eyes filled with regret. He shot up and brought Mikan in a hug.

She still had her sad look on as she stroked his head. "It's okay… I'm alright… Really…"

Ruka kept on hugging her. "I… love you. I've always loved you." He pulled away and looked at Mikan in her brown eyes. "I know I can't replace him… but I'll be here for you… I won't ever leave you. I love you, Mikan."

She widened her eyes at him and put a hand to her mouth. "Oh… Ruka… I'm so—"

Ruka held her hand and smiled. "You don't have to say it… I know. Just keep in mind what I told you." He kissed her forehead and stood. "I have to finish, but I'll be back."

Mikan gave him a guilty look but nodded.

Ruka smiled at her one last time and went back to his set.

Mikan gazed at him as he was working and began tearing.

"Mikan…"

She heard her name and spun her head around. There… in the street was Natsume. He had his hand out.

Mikan gasped and slowly stood up. She cried even more and ran to him. "Natsume..!" Mikan ran all the way to the street and reached out for him.

Ruka realized that she left and ran after her. He stopped when he saw her on the street. He was panting before he yelled, "Mikan!"

She spun around to see him with tears in her eyes. Mikan noticed Ruka and smiled again, the same one she had on that day. Mikan stepped back. "I'm sorry… Ruka."

At that time, a car came and hit Mikan.

Ruka screamed as he ran towards her. She lay there with blood flowing from her mouth. Ruka cried out as he held brought her on his lap. "Mikan…"

Mikan was looked away. She saw Natsume again. He was bent down, smiling at her. Mikan smiled back. "Nat… su… me."

Ruka looked confused. He held her face in his hands and yelled, "Mikan, look at me! Look at me!"

Mikan kept on gazing at her Natsume. He held out a hand towards her. She finally faced Ruka and placed a hand on his cheek. "I'm sorry…" She smiled and extended her hand out to Natsume's.

Once their hands came in contact, Mikan closed her eyes and her hand fell.

Ruka yelled her name and hugged her close. "MIKAN!"

Ruka was in his car, both his arms laid lazily on the wheel. He had his camera in his hands and his cheeks were stained with tears. He was looking at the pictures of Mikan and Natsume that he had taken. Ruka knocked his head on the wheel and screamed out. He took fast, hard breaths and turned his head to the passenger seat.

He saw Mikan sitting there, smiling at him. Ruka shook his head and saw the pills on the seat. He tiredly grabbed a bottle and opened it. Ruka sighed and shoved the pills down his throat.

Ruka walked in the same park with the bottle in his hand. He tripped over his own feet and kept walking. He came up to the bench and fell on it. He laid there, crying. "Mikan… Natsume… Why… Why…?" He closed his eyes and let out his sobs.

"… Ruka… wake up."

He opened his eyes slowly at his name and saw two figures standing in front of him. Ruka shook his head and sat up. He blinked again and the people became clear.

Mikan was standing there with a smile on her face and Natsume was hugging her from behind. She knelt down and giggled at him. "What's wrong, Ruka?" She held out a hand. "Come on, Ruka!"

A smile crept on his face as more tears came down. He fell forward and caught her in an embrace. "Mikan… Mikan…"

Natsume chuckled and knelt down with them. He ruffled his hair. "You idiot. What are you doing here?"

Ruka looked at him and grinned. "Natsume…" He closed his eyes with a smile on his face. "Where have you guys been…?"

The two disappeared and he fell to the floor.

The sun shone on him and a different Ruka stood up while his body was on the floor. Ruka looked forward and saw Mikan and Natsume in the direction of the sun. She was yelling at him to hurry. Ruka laughed and ran to them. She put her arms around both of them as they walked in the direction of the light… and they slowly vanished.


End file.
